Hello once again dear readers,
It's been a while since I last updated, and today I have a little time, so here are my latest thoughts.
Tina-wise, all is well to a point. I thought I'd lost my T mojo yesterday, but that was just a blip. I am looking forward to the next time out, which may be London again, but also could be Sparkle. I will need to consider that I have enough to wear - (any excuse for shopping...), but I think I already do have what I need. (Mind you - could do with some sandals - and I just cannot get on with toe posts - but Mrs T is starting to train me..)
On the subject of Mrs T, I think we have come to a good understanding of what I am all about now. Things have been much calmer of late. She also let me order some Avon the other day.
This hot weather strangely has got me down a bit. I've been desperate to wear a really long skirt I picked up for £2 in a sale. Seems a perfect one for hot weather? No opportunity to dress at home...
I still get a bit tearful at times, but I think that is to do with what's happening to my Son at the moment, rather than out and out frustration at not being a girl enough.
My son has now had it confirmed that he will be made redundant, effectively this coming Friday. I feel really gutted for him. He joined the company he is at now as an apprentice 5 years ago. He passed his 2 years of study and learning, and was taken on proper. 3 years later they are throwing him in the dustbin at the age of 25. This can't be right!
He also was really discriminated against in the process for selection, and now says he intends to go for unfair dismissal. Are there any employment law experts out there who might be able to advise? (for free...)
My daughter has finally moved on from the ex, and is her old self again. At least that bit of the house is repaired. My son's other half dumped him Saturday, and then they made up Sunday...It was not fun having a 6' plus hunk of a bear sobbing uncontrollably in my arms on Saturday. I was at a loss at what to do or say?
Anyway, that's the update from Tina-land. Hope everyone is chilled and looking forward to the Jubilee week-end.
Tina
xx
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
London lunching - the aftermath.
Hi there Dear readers,
Firstly, I'd like to say thanks to those who have taken the time to read my blog lately and give comments and advice. I really appreciate it.
OK then, it's Tuesday, 2 days after my first ever trip out to London as me. I didn't want to re-post what I have posted on Angels (you can find it here is you are interested) - http://www.angelsforum.co.uk/phpforum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=22374
I more wanted to reflect on how I feel now, compared to how I felt before Sunday.
That's an easy answer...or is it?
I have to get this off my chest right away - I was totally euphoric yesterday, until about 2 pm in the afternoon.
Wallop!
It was like being hit by a freight train. I just felt so miserable. I sobbed and sobbed, and for no apparent reason.
Being of a personality trait that is used to being 'in control', and used to 'analysing' things in order to feel more comfortable, this really took me by surprise. I also have to say that I am fine today - I little tired still, but fine.
I guess there could be many reasons, and probably compounded reasons why. Likely it was just a case of being so excited about Sunday before hand, and having such a great day, it was just a reaction to the come down?
Both my wife and son became aware of my tears, and did their best to comfort. I couldn't say why I felt why I did though. Was I afraid to tell the real truth? I think even I am scared to answer that. Is the real truth the feeling of hopelessness faced with an impossible position - Married, and happily so, not a massive circle of friends, but enough to know me and Mrs T well and care about us - but on the other hand me being totally convinced my future is in the female gender. I guess other married T-Girls all suffer from this dilemma. It is a rare situation where a partner totally accepts you have to be what you really feel you are.
I have to take this one step at a time. I know that. I have no idea where this particular journey is going, but I know I have no desire to jump off the train. I know where I think it is going, but also that this is likely to change at the next junction.
Back to the original question - do I feel different as a result of Sunday? Oh yes! Yes indeed!
I achieved so much on Sunday (see Angels post), but what is underneath it all, was the realisation that I had become Tina properly as a result. It happened as the day went on, and the smile on my face as I neared my home station on the train, was huge. The feeling deep inside me was even larger. Massive.
I feel I have moved much closer to being comfortable as Tina. Not that I wasn't comfortable before. I'm probably using the wrong words? I feel more 'right'?
So where to go from here? I don't know? Well, yes I do - take it easy, think it through. Let things progress naturally. If my destiny is to become physically female, then so be it. If it isn't, then, what I have already achieved, and am becoming increasingly used to, is also fine. As long as it includes lunching, going out, whatever, with people who are so incredibly amazing, then who in their right mind wouldn't want to enjoy all that?
Who indeed when feeling like I did at the end of Sunday wouldn't want to feel that way again and again?
Next time out is also worth looking forward to - Sparkle. We did discuss this on Sunday, some people are compelled to go, some not. There are as many reasons for going as there are T Girls I think? For me, last year's Sparkle was when Joanne Public met Tina for the very first time. I had met no one else before. As a result, to some extent, Sparkle was when Pandora jumped out of the box. So, I am going again, but for an entirely different reason - to meet up with some of the wonderful friends I have made already on this amazing journey. Better start planning some shopping trips then...
Well, that is about all I wish to say right now. Your comments appreciated, welcomed, and indeed encouraged.
Until next time,
Tina
xxx
Firstly, I'd like to say thanks to those who have taken the time to read my blog lately and give comments and advice. I really appreciate it.
OK then, it's Tuesday, 2 days after my first ever trip out to London as me. I didn't want to re-post what I have posted on Angels (you can find it here is you are interested) - http://www.angelsforum.co.uk/phpforum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=22374
I more wanted to reflect on how I feel now, compared to how I felt before Sunday.
That's an easy answer...or is it?
I have to get this off my chest right away - I was totally euphoric yesterday, until about 2 pm in the afternoon.
Wallop!
It was like being hit by a freight train. I just felt so miserable. I sobbed and sobbed, and for no apparent reason.
Being of a personality trait that is used to being 'in control', and used to 'analysing' things in order to feel more comfortable, this really took me by surprise. I also have to say that I am fine today - I little tired still, but fine.
I guess there could be many reasons, and probably compounded reasons why. Likely it was just a case of being so excited about Sunday before hand, and having such a great day, it was just a reaction to the come down?
Both my wife and son became aware of my tears, and did their best to comfort. I couldn't say why I felt why I did though. Was I afraid to tell the real truth? I think even I am scared to answer that. Is the real truth the feeling of hopelessness faced with an impossible position - Married, and happily so, not a massive circle of friends, but enough to know me and Mrs T well and care about us - but on the other hand me being totally convinced my future is in the female gender. I guess other married T-Girls all suffer from this dilemma. It is a rare situation where a partner totally accepts you have to be what you really feel you are.
I have to take this one step at a time. I know that. I have no idea where this particular journey is going, but I know I have no desire to jump off the train. I know where I think it is going, but also that this is likely to change at the next junction.
Back to the original question - do I feel different as a result of Sunday? Oh yes! Yes indeed!
I achieved so much on Sunday (see Angels post), but what is underneath it all, was the realisation that I had become Tina properly as a result. It happened as the day went on, and the smile on my face as I neared my home station on the train, was huge. The feeling deep inside me was even larger. Massive.
I feel I have moved much closer to being comfortable as Tina. Not that I wasn't comfortable before. I'm probably using the wrong words? I feel more 'right'?
So where to go from here? I don't know? Well, yes I do - take it easy, think it through. Let things progress naturally. If my destiny is to become physically female, then so be it. If it isn't, then, what I have already achieved, and am becoming increasingly used to, is also fine. As long as it includes lunching, going out, whatever, with people who are so incredibly amazing, then who in their right mind wouldn't want to enjoy all that?
Who indeed when feeling like I did at the end of Sunday wouldn't want to feel that way again and again?
Next time out is also worth looking forward to - Sparkle. We did discuss this on Sunday, some people are compelled to go, some not. There are as many reasons for going as there are T Girls I think? For me, last year's Sparkle was when Joanne Public met Tina for the very first time. I had met no one else before. As a result, to some extent, Sparkle was when Pandora jumped out of the box. So, I am going again, but for an entirely different reason - to meet up with some of the wonderful friends I have made already on this amazing journey. Better start planning some shopping trips then...
Well, that is about all I wish to say right now. Your comments appreciated, welcomed, and indeed encouraged.
Until next time,
Tina
xxx
Thursday, 10 May 2012
Pre-London lunch thoughts and an update.
Hello dear hearts, (as Ermintrude used to say.)
I find myself almost at the end of another busy week. I will try not to ramble, but 'libations' have already been had...
Righto - My mental state and how it is affected by my loved ones...
Wife - been sick all week. Mother/Sister are not bothering us, but are still the lowest of the low. Has given me her blessing for my outing (and I hope this doesn't turn into a bad pun!), on Sunday. She has even advised on suitable attire! Under threat of 're-grading', at work.
Son - Definitely selected for redundancy today. Crap! Supports my T'ness without question. Our joint efforts on preparing him for today's crunch meeting may bear fruit...Thought he was about to split up with GF of 6 months this week, but turns out not so. Has a scrambled head, but I'm giving him 100% support.
Daughter - In denial about the effects of break up with long-term boyfriend, but working her 2 part-time jobs hard. Knows what I am doing Sunday and (sort of ), accepts it. One part time job due to end in July, so (should be) looking for work...
Me - Work is rubbish. Still on 'secondment' with the threat of being in the 'bin' hanging over me. The secondment job is crap, and I could write for hours why. Lets just say some people haven't a clue what project/programme management is meant to be about. It sure isn't about spreadsheets, e-mails, and endless conference calls!
So - that makes all four of us here with job-related issues...and 2 with relationship issues, and 2 with health issues. Oh what joy!
(reminder to self - you said you wouldn't ramble!)
and back to T stuff! (which is why you read...)
On Sunday, I am going to lunch with a bunch of T Girls in London. Now this presents a few firsts...
1 - Not been to London in T mode before. I was born there and my dear old Dad was a Cabbie for 38 years there. It holds a special place in my heart and always will.
2 - I'm going by train. Not been on a train dressed before. Not worried too much. I'm going anyway.
3 - All this means I am leaving the house dressed in daylight. OK, it's Sunday, so maybe no neighbours will notice...I'll be coming back like this as well, so they'll all get a second chance. I think this has sunk in with Mrs T today! I know I should care, but I don't. Time to move on.
and so I am really excited about going, and naturally, more than a bit scared...
It will be great. I am certain. What will make it easier is that I will know 2 others who are going, and if all goes well I'll be not alone on the train, having met another girl from MK who I know through Angels and F/B.
That's where I am. I'll certainly post what happened next week. No doubt there will be some piccies too!
All that is left now is that weather forecast and what to wear?
Tina
xx
I find myself almost at the end of another busy week. I will try not to ramble, but 'libations' have already been had...
Righto - My mental state and how it is affected by my loved ones...
Wife - been sick all week. Mother/Sister are not bothering us, but are still the lowest of the low. Has given me her blessing for my outing (and I hope this doesn't turn into a bad pun!), on Sunday. She has even advised on suitable attire! Under threat of 're-grading', at work.
Son - Definitely selected for redundancy today. Crap! Supports my T'ness without question. Our joint efforts on preparing him for today's crunch meeting may bear fruit...Thought he was about to split up with GF of 6 months this week, but turns out not so. Has a scrambled head, but I'm giving him 100% support.
Daughter - In denial about the effects of break up with long-term boyfriend, but working her 2 part-time jobs hard. Knows what I am doing Sunday and (sort of ), accepts it. One part time job due to end in July, so (should be) looking for work...
Me - Work is rubbish. Still on 'secondment' with the threat of being in the 'bin' hanging over me. The secondment job is crap, and I could write for hours why. Lets just say some people haven't a clue what project/programme management is meant to be about. It sure isn't about spreadsheets, e-mails, and endless conference calls!
So - that makes all four of us here with job-related issues...and 2 with relationship issues, and 2 with health issues. Oh what joy!
(reminder to self - you said you wouldn't ramble!)
and back to T stuff! (which is why you read...)
On Sunday, I am going to lunch with a bunch of T Girls in London. Now this presents a few firsts...
1 - Not been to London in T mode before. I was born there and my dear old Dad was a Cabbie for 38 years there. It holds a special place in my heart and always will.
2 - I'm going by train. Not been on a train dressed before. Not worried too much. I'm going anyway.
3 - All this means I am leaving the house dressed in daylight. OK, it's Sunday, so maybe no neighbours will notice...I'll be coming back like this as well, so they'll all get a second chance. I think this has sunk in with Mrs T today! I know I should care, but I don't. Time to move on.
and so I am really excited about going, and naturally, more than a bit scared...
It will be great. I am certain. What will make it easier is that I will know 2 others who are going, and if all goes well I'll be not alone on the train, having met another girl from MK who I know through Angels and F/B.
That's where I am. I'll certainly post what happened next week. No doubt there will be some piccies too!
All that is left now is that weather forecast and what to wear?
Tina
xx
Monday, 30 April 2012
Monday's musings...
High time for an update I think, especially given the nature of my last post.
My mind is slightly better, in that all the advice I received, especially from Sue and Sam on here, Holly on f/b, and from all of my other friends, was most helpful.
The busy-ness of life also has played it's hand which has not allowed me much thinking time lately.
My plan is when I feel ready, I am going to go to my GP and ask if I can be referred to a psych.
Opportunities to dress have stopped again, due to Son being here in the daytime again. He is also still very much under the threat of redundancy, bless him. Not fun when you are 25 and reasonably intelligent. He actually has turned out to be one person I can openly discuss my T-ness with, and I've felt so comfortable I've worn eye make up in the day and there has been no issue. I couldn't get away with that with the girls in the house.
On that subject, no 1 daughter is still in boyfriend mess. There is a lot to do there, and both me and Mrs T have no real idea how to snap her out of her upset? We've both stayed out of it so far, but it's getting harder and harder.
It was our anniversary on Friday last, and although we don't celebrate, the interim ones, I made her a card. It was our 27th. I wrote some words in the card to re-assure her that I will always love her, whatever the future throws our way.
The week-end was quite good. I decided to cook a 3-course meal for Mrs T on Saturday and it went down really well. (Actually, I was quite proud of myself. Home-made Prawn and Spring Onion Ravioli to start, Bangladeshi Monkfish and Prawn curry as main, and a wicked fried Banana with an amazing home-made sauce for dessert.)
As I had pasta left over, I made some more Ravioli (cheese and ham) for a starter last night, all served with a home made garlic sauce.
One more thing I did yesterday was to sort out and clean the spice cupboard. I was always moaning at the state of it, so Mrs T 'encouraged' me to do something about it.
I suppose all in all, a big brownie points week-end.
So where to next? In 2 weeks, I intend to push Tina's boundaries once again by going to Sue's London lunch. I haven't been before, but having been in Sue's company on two previous occasions for eating, I have no worries about going. The hard bit is leaving the house in daylight, (not being out to anyone much else), and travelling on the train. I am not too nervous. Actually very, very excited.
I guess I see it as another milestone 'ticked' on the path to acceptance?
I'm also booked into Sparkle and have my train tickets, so as per last year, I'm looking forward to that too.
It's not surprising as I really believe that when I am fully out in public I am proving I am the real me.
That's all I have to say today. Until next time good readers.
Tina
xx
My mind is slightly better, in that all the advice I received, especially from Sue and Sam on here, Holly on f/b, and from all of my other friends, was most helpful.
The busy-ness of life also has played it's hand which has not allowed me much thinking time lately.
My plan is when I feel ready, I am going to go to my GP and ask if I can be referred to a psych.
Opportunities to dress have stopped again, due to Son being here in the daytime again. He is also still very much under the threat of redundancy, bless him. Not fun when you are 25 and reasonably intelligent. He actually has turned out to be one person I can openly discuss my T-ness with, and I've felt so comfortable I've worn eye make up in the day and there has been no issue. I couldn't get away with that with the girls in the house.
On that subject, no 1 daughter is still in boyfriend mess. There is a lot to do there, and both me and Mrs T have no real idea how to snap her out of her upset? We've both stayed out of it so far, but it's getting harder and harder.
It was our anniversary on Friday last, and although we don't celebrate, the interim ones, I made her a card. It was our 27th. I wrote some words in the card to re-assure her that I will always love her, whatever the future throws our way.
The week-end was quite good. I decided to cook a 3-course meal for Mrs T on Saturday and it went down really well. (Actually, I was quite proud of myself. Home-made Prawn and Spring Onion Ravioli to start, Bangladeshi Monkfish and Prawn curry as main, and a wicked fried Banana with an amazing home-made sauce for dessert.)
As I had pasta left over, I made some more Ravioli (cheese and ham) for a starter last night, all served with a home made garlic sauce.
One more thing I did yesterday was to sort out and clean the spice cupboard. I was always moaning at the state of it, so Mrs T 'encouraged' me to do something about it.
I suppose all in all, a big brownie points week-end.
So where to next? In 2 weeks, I intend to push Tina's boundaries once again by going to Sue's London lunch. I haven't been before, but having been in Sue's company on two previous occasions for eating, I have no worries about going. The hard bit is leaving the house in daylight, (not being out to anyone much else), and travelling on the train. I am not too nervous. Actually very, very excited.
I guess I see it as another milestone 'ticked' on the path to acceptance?
I'm also booked into Sparkle and have my train tickets, so as per last year, I'm looking forward to that too.
It's not surprising as I really believe that when I am fully out in public I am proving I am the real me.
That's all I have to say today. Until next time good readers.
Tina
xx
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Where is my mind?
I've chosen the title due to my topsy-turvy feelings, which I am trying to get my head around right now.
I'll try to explain...
It's not that I am down in the dumps too much, or the reverse - it's where I am at and where I am going that is filling my thoughts today.
I've just spent 2 days dressed, after a while of not being able to do much. The feelings of euphoria and 'rightness', came flooding back. So much so, that I was very close to not changing back, when people were due home. This happened both days.
So it started me thinking? Am I content with how I am now, with occasional dressing and the odd journey out?
Well, if I'm brutally honest no, I'm not. The feelings I have when I am dressed overwhelm me. I just feel so, so good! So, so right. But where to go? Just more dressing? No, I don't think that is the whole answer. OK here comes the bombshell number one - I think I'm actually ready to go full time! There I've said it!
Yes I know the problems that would bring and I probably haven't even thought of all of them...and I know this is very much a selfish feeling and desire. I do increasingly feel its right for me though. Perhaps I could do with some help to talk it through more?
Well there we are, my scrambled head. But wait, that's not all...
Today, it got worse. I'll go straight for it...there was I just relaxing after lunch before returning to work and a thought struck me. Could I actually ever see myself having GRS? Whenever I've had that thought (being part of Angels means your surrounded by this course of action) before, I've always ruled it out.
Today was different. For the first time ever, the answer was "yes I could". Bombshell number two. Furthermore, I let my mind wander a bit more and I think, actually, this is what my goal may now be? The problems with that are of course even more serious than going full time. All this has rather taken me aback and I feel almost guilty for daring to think/dream along these lines. I want to tell Mrs T, but I'm very afraid of the consequences.
Perhaps it's just a silly phase that I'm going through? (Ouch, my head hurts!)
Well, that's a load at least down in words, which helps a bit.
What else is there to say today? Well, I've been experimenting further with a half and half eye shadow look, with pink in the first half of the lid and grey in the second (towards the outside of the face). I have to say I love it! I need to try some more colours, but I'm getting much better at blending (my recently acquired brush/blender from Avon is great). I've also started to go a bit heavier on eye liner, which is giving me a sultry, (dare I say even sexy?) look.
I wanted to take a picture, but I've been lazy in the face hair department (failed to buy expensive blades), and so I wasn't happy with the overall look today. Need to go shopping. So much Tina needs!
I did want to go to the Nottingham Invasion, but a combination of things - Mrs T mostly (I did so enjoy the A-Team comments on Facebook!), will prevent me going. I really want to meet some more people as well as the lovely girls I already know. The good news is that Sue is organising a London lunch and at last it looks like I can go. I HAVE to go, for so many reasons.
Yesterday I finally got around to seeing the last episode of "My Transexual Summer", and I have to say I cried a lot at the end. I loved the programme, because I am one of them. I'm the same. I wish I was as young as some of them, but hey ho, I'm glad I am what I am.
Well that's it. A fairly serious blog, but being trans isn't all fun.
Thanks for reading.
Tina
xxxxx
I'll try to explain...
It's not that I am down in the dumps too much, or the reverse - it's where I am at and where I am going that is filling my thoughts today.
I've just spent 2 days dressed, after a while of not being able to do much. The feelings of euphoria and 'rightness', came flooding back. So much so, that I was very close to not changing back, when people were due home. This happened both days.
So it started me thinking? Am I content with how I am now, with occasional dressing and the odd journey out?
Well, if I'm brutally honest no, I'm not. The feelings I have when I am dressed overwhelm me. I just feel so, so good! So, so right. But where to go? Just more dressing? No, I don't think that is the whole answer. OK here comes the bombshell number one - I think I'm actually ready to go full time! There I've said it!
Yes I know the problems that would bring and I probably haven't even thought of all of them...and I know this is very much a selfish feeling and desire. I do increasingly feel its right for me though. Perhaps I could do with some help to talk it through more?
Well there we are, my scrambled head. But wait, that's not all...
Today, it got worse. I'll go straight for it...there was I just relaxing after lunch before returning to work and a thought struck me. Could I actually ever see myself having GRS? Whenever I've had that thought (being part of Angels means your surrounded by this course of action) before, I've always ruled it out.
Today was different. For the first time ever, the answer was "yes I could". Bombshell number two. Furthermore, I let my mind wander a bit more and I think, actually, this is what my goal may now be? The problems with that are of course even more serious than going full time. All this has rather taken me aback and I feel almost guilty for daring to think/dream along these lines. I want to tell Mrs T, but I'm very afraid of the consequences.
Perhaps it's just a silly phase that I'm going through? (Ouch, my head hurts!)
Well, that's a load at least down in words, which helps a bit.
What else is there to say today? Well, I've been experimenting further with a half and half eye shadow look, with pink in the first half of the lid and grey in the second (towards the outside of the face). I have to say I love it! I need to try some more colours, but I'm getting much better at blending (my recently acquired brush/blender from Avon is great). I've also started to go a bit heavier on eye liner, which is giving me a sultry, (dare I say even sexy?) look.
I wanted to take a picture, but I've been lazy in the face hair department (failed to buy expensive blades), and so I wasn't happy with the overall look today. Need to go shopping. So much Tina needs!
I did want to go to the Nottingham Invasion, but a combination of things - Mrs T mostly (I did so enjoy the A-Team comments on Facebook!), will prevent me going. I really want to meet some more people as well as the lovely girls I already know. The good news is that Sue is organising a London lunch and at last it looks like I can go. I HAVE to go, for so many reasons.
Yesterday I finally got around to seeing the last episode of "My Transexual Summer", and I have to say I cried a lot at the end. I loved the programme, because I am one of them. I'm the same. I wish I was as young as some of them, but hey ho, I'm glad I am what I am.
Well that's it. A fairly serious blog, but being trans isn't all fun.
Thanks for reading.
Tina
xxxxx
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Post-Easter musings.
It's been a while again. No excuse really.
Things are settling down still here in the madhouse.
My femme feelings are as strong as ever, but dressing time is now back to a premium again due to my Son being back on nights. It's Easter hols which means a full house anyway due to school-based other householders. Bah!
I failed miserably to post another pic I took during the last dressing time. I called it 'all dressed up with nowhere to go', which summed up my feelings nicely. Anyway, here it is.
Need to add a vest top underneath as it's a bit see-through...
Managed to get some shopping time last week, which resulted in another top from Yours. Got some shoes from them as well, but unbelievably, they didn't fit -too big!
Ordered some new clip-on earring adaptors after following a link on the 'Pierced Ears' thread on Angels. Looking forward to trying them out. Wish I get get my ears done, however, Mrs T will not allow. Any suggestions of how to persuade her?
Still no prospect of any trips out yet, which is annoying. However, booked in for Sparkle now and looking forward to it very much.
Oh, I nearly forgot. As no one apart from Mrs T was in the house all of Sunday, I asked if I could dress for the afternoon. She didn't say no, so I did. I didn't go too OTT, just leggings and the top in the previous post. Had a great result on a two-colour blended eye-shadow theme, grey into pink, which I copied from a girl I saw on the train the other day. It was the first time I really got blending right. Can't wait to try that out again. Need to get some more colours now. Is there any end to this shopping? :-)))
I could tell Mrs T didn't really like me being dressed in the house, but it's not as if she hasn't seen me dressed several times now. I thought actually it was another small victory in my quest for acceptance (if not full-time-ness!)
and that's where we are.
TTFN!
Tina
xx
Things are settling down still here in the madhouse.
My femme feelings are as strong as ever, but dressing time is now back to a premium again due to my Son being back on nights. It's Easter hols which means a full house anyway due to school-based other householders. Bah!
I failed miserably to post another pic I took during the last dressing time. I called it 'all dressed up with nowhere to go', which summed up my feelings nicely. Anyway, here it is.
Need to add a vest top underneath as it's a bit see-through...
Managed to get some shopping time last week, which resulted in another top from Yours. Got some shoes from them as well, but unbelievably, they didn't fit -too big!
Ordered some new clip-on earring adaptors after following a link on the 'Pierced Ears' thread on Angels. Looking forward to trying them out. Wish I get get my ears done, however, Mrs T will not allow. Any suggestions of how to persuade her?
Still no prospect of any trips out yet, which is annoying. However, booked in for Sparkle now and looking forward to it very much.
Oh, I nearly forgot. As no one apart from Mrs T was in the house all of Sunday, I asked if I could dress for the afternoon. She didn't say no, so I did. I didn't go too OTT, just leggings and the top in the previous post. Had a great result on a two-colour blended eye-shadow theme, grey into pink, which I copied from a girl I saw on the train the other day. It was the first time I really got blending right. Can't wait to try that out again. Need to get some more colours now. Is there any end to this shopping? :-)))
I could tell Mrs T didn't really like me being dressed in the house, but it's not as if she hasn't seen me dressed several times now. I thought actually it was another small victory in my quest for acceptance (if not full-time-ness!)
and that's where we are.
TTFN!
Tina
xx
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
An update...
It's been a while since I last wrote anything. Mainly due to lack of time. It sure has been busy of late.
Things have settled down in our household a little. It has been a tough 2 weeks or so with my daughter. She was also doing quite well of late, having got to the 'resigned to what is what' stage, and having reached the 'angry' stage. That was until she got an awful text last night, and now we are back to square one!
What it is no longer doing is affecting me as Tina. This due to one essential thing - my son is off nights and on days for 2 weeks. Therefore the house is all mine from 8:30 to 3:30 Tuesday to Thursday, and that means during those times, I live as Tina...and bloody good it is too!
The immediate benefit has been that I've been able to try some new things on that have been bought weeks ago.
Yesterday, I wore a black pencil skirt from New Look. I've not tried this style before, and it made me look a bit younger I think? Showing knees too! I wore it with my bright red knitted top from Marks. I felt great! I took loads of pictures as well. Here's a couple - one thing that perhaps I shouldn't admit was that with this look, for probably the first time, I felt sexy as a woman!
Things have settled down in our household a little. It has been a tough 2 weeks or so with my daughter. She was also doing quite well of late, having got to the 'resigned to what is what' stage, and having reached the 'angry' stage. That was until she got an awful text last night, and now we are back to square one!
What it is no longer doing is affecting me as Tina. This due to one essential thing - my son is off nights and on days for 2 weeks. Therefore the house is all mine from 8:30 to 3:30 Tuesday to Thursday, and that means during those times, I live as Tina...and bloody good it is too!
The immediate benefit has been that I've been able to try some new things on that have been bought weeks ago.
Today I was able to try a new floaty long top from Yours. Mrs T suggested wearing with leggings and I think it looks OK, but does nothing to hide my size. I like it though. Must try with jeans! Oh well, there is always tomorrow!
Here's today's look -
All that continues to bug me now is not going out. I feel so, so comfortable being a woman, I just want to be like it all of the time. One day, I just know I will burst and tell everybody...
Until the next time readers,
Tina
xxxx
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